Upworthy and Conflicted

ICanHazMeaningCat500Picture from Upworthy/ Core message; I have meaning.

Have you heard about Upworthy? Neither had I until Eli Pariser, its founder, was interviewed on CBS News . It is one of those social media websites, but different. Pariser categorizes his website as “a social media with a mission.” If you see someone dancing in their underwear it will be to draw attention to a meaningful topic, i.e., pollution, going green, health care, etc.

I am intrigued but conflicted. Conflicted about time; the time it will take to search and read about this new website. Today, I have six plus hours to write, since Mr. Wonderful is out of the house playing golf. You are right, six hours sounds like more than a game of golf, and when asked about another woman. Mr. Wonderful says, “Another woman would be cheaper.”

Back to writing, I could turn What is Upworthy? into a post, but planned to write about another New Year’s Resolutions, to stand up straight.

Curiosity wins and I do a search, conflicted about going off task versus living in the moment. What the heck, I am retired.

Upworthy is not a newspaper and does not report news. You watch videos like the one of Jennifer Livingston  responding to a WKBT viewer email about her weight. The viewer criticized Jennifer as obese and not a proper role model. The world joined her retort that he is a bully. The video originally posted on Upworthy went viral.

David Carr, a writer for the New York Times, labels Upworthy a “news aggregation site.” The word means accumulating, joining, or combining and its founder agrees.

Pairser says, “At best, things online are usually either awesome or meaningful, but everything on Upworthy.com has both.”  He believes Upworthy is:

  • sensational and substantial
  • entertaining and enlightening
  • shocking and significant

His staff, a  ragtag group of ruffians, fact check all posts/videos and Pairser claims their audience consists of “people who care about the world, but don’t want to be bored.”

The CBS interview was positive. Charlie Rose asked about the market for real news and Pairser made an analogy to the vegetable Brussels-sprouts, commenting; media portrays meaningful news as undesirable but essential. He thinks there is a craving for substantial news and believes Upworthy has no empty calories.

I like Brussels-sprouts.

Now that I know what Upworthy is, what good is it?

Well it is an informative media. I watched several videos and although not entertained, not bored. John Green gave a passionate eight minute rant about health care and sounded knowledgeable. Viewers cannot comment on Upworthy, but can like on Facebook and Twitter, and tweet or comment away.

So that was my day. I did attempt to change my theme for this blog and after one hour settled on changing the background color to amber, which is another New Year’s resolution, add color to my life.

. . . . just saying

P.S. I’ve been jumping around every day this week and haven’t lost one pound. Tomorrow is Friday. Also, please like me on Facebook and follow me on twitter, both at claudiajustsaying.

Thanks

2014 Weight Loss Resolution

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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”   Lao-tse  

   Here we go again; the number one New Year’s resolution is to lose weight, unfortunately only eight percent of those making the intention succeed. That means ninety-two percent or almost everyone fails, and I am one of them. It was my resolution last year, the year before and the year before that; to lose the five pounds gained in retirement. Granted it is not the freshmen fifteen but I am not eighteen either. Mr. Wonderful, my husband of 42 years, says, “You’re not really overweight.” My response, “Yea and that’s the way I want to keep it.” Besides not really overweight is equal to, not really smart or its counter not really stupid. His comment does not make me feel better. My pants are tight, and please do not suggest I wear pants with an elastic waist. I am philosophically opposed to the fashion concept.

You may think losing five pounds for someone my size is easy, but it is not. In order to lose one pound a week I need to cut my caloric intake by 500 calories a day or eat 25% to 30% less than I now consume. What typically happens is that I am “Good” on weekdays and take off the pound, but it comes back over the weekend. On Monday I face the same old challenge.

Consequently, to meet success in 2014, I have consulted a professional personal trainer, my brother, Victor. He reinvented himself in retirement and has his own business, VB Fitness(vicboylhart@gmail.com), with a catchy tag line; “Stay Fit With Vic.” The Silver Sneakers flock to him. Vic’s advice, “Sis, you can cut calories to lose weight OR increase activity and people who want to lose more have to do both.”

Vic explains, “walk one mile, lose one hundred calories. Take any amount of time to do that but the faster you walk the less time you need to burn calories. That is why people run.” Vic can lose a pound in 6 point something minutes.

But Vic, “I do not run, my boobs shake, but I walk several times a week for about 30 minutes and exercise with Miranda Esmonde-White’s The Classical Stretch routine.”

Vic smiles and says, “That’s the problem you’re burning calories not fat. You have to sweat and exercise 40 minutes or longer, sweating clears the body of toxins. ”

But Vic, “I don’t like to sweat! How about I change my resolution to; I’m not going to gain five pounds.”

Mr. Smarty Pants response is to do jumping-jacks, he is right.

The American College of Sports Medicine recommends:

  • Adults participate in at least 150 minutes/week of moderate-intensity physical activity to prevent significant weight gain and reduce associated chronic disease risk factors. For most adults, this amount of physical activity is easily achieved in 30 minutes/day, five days a week.
  • Overweight and obese individuals will most likely experience greater weight reduction and prevent weight regain with 250+ minutes/week of moderate-intensity physical activity and reducing calories.
  • ACSM also recommends strength training as part of this health and fitness regimen, to increase fat-free mass and further reduce health risks.

Consequently the way for me to lose weight is; give up wine, give up cookies, and jump around until I sweat. I love my cookies with coffee as an afternoon snack and seriously, sweating is highly over rated.

   Place your bets!

. . . . just saying

 

 

Christmas Spirit

photo-1Photo by Marshal Bradley

 May the Christmas spirit bless you and your family

Mr. Wonderful and I are headed to Albuquerque, NM to spend Christmas with our son and his family. Our daughter will fly from New York to join us. We had the same plan last year that unfortunately did not happen, because Bob had emergency surgery.

Although still recovering from pancreatic surgery in July, Bob was feeling good when he printed our boarding passes the morning of December 24th.

We were packed and ready to fly. However within an hour Bob, screaming from pain, was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with a perforated bowel. Surgery was scheduled for 5:30PM, and I was told to wait in radiology. The door could be locked, there was a TV and telephone. I was instructed to answer the phone should it ring.

The hospital was closing.

I am blessed to have many dear friends, one of them, Pat, came (bringing the most delicious turkey sandwich) to be by my side, and stayed until the doctor appeared to say my husband was in recovery.

Christmas Eve 2012 is one we will not forget. It was near midnight when I left the hospital, and hearing the door lock behind me, looked up to enjoy the most beautiful stars in the sky surrounded by silence and crisp clear air.

Yes, we are heading to Albuquerque and though there are no guarantees, are looking forward to spreading lots of cheer. We are extremely grateful to family, friends, and the kindness of strangers. I am especially thankful for all my readers. Thank you for making the time to read my posts, you make a difference in my life.

Merry Christmas,

                                                      Claudia . . . . just saying

 

 

Tips From Readers

GE DIGITAL CAMERA        Recycle Covers to Birthday Cards

Reader Tips

Aging & Attitude

   Ever struggle to untangle a knotty necklace wondering; how does this happen and chastising yourself for not being more careful? Well never again, Barbara Decker, a USA Weekend magazine  reader, has a tip;

   “To get a knot out of jewelry or untangle a fine necklace chain, pour table salt in a small saucer, drop the item in the salt and take a round toothpick and work out the knots by maneuvering the toothpick.”

To eliminate clutter, Peggy McDaniel’s of West Berlin, New Jersey, saves only the page instead of the entire catalog when your fingers do the shopping. Someone else suggested turning opened jars stored in the refrigerator up-sided down to allow air to circulate underneath the food extending its shelf life.

I thought the suggestions genius, and wondered about other reader tips I might be missing, so I went searching online and found some good advice.

Money Smart Family has a solution for removing carpet stains that resurface. Use a mixture of:

  • 2 ounces Hydrogen Peroxide (3% – brown bottle from drug store)
  • 1 ounce Dish Soap (blue original)

Instead of buying Windex type of window cleaners, they suggested using car windshield washer. It costs less than $2.00 for a gallon. Pour cleaner into a refillable spray bottle and save plastic.

Browsing travel tips I found this interesting comment about packing toilet paper when traveling internationally; “The roll will compress more if the inner tube is removed — an old backpacking trick!”

Other Travel Tips Worth Mention:

  • If you need directions, stop in at a pizza restaurant that delivers. The delivery people really know their local area.
  • Pack necklaces by threading them through a straw. Straws are an easy to come by at fast-food restaurants and coffeehouses.
  • Don Mankin from Venice suggestion; Bitters. I carry 3 ounces, which is excellent if you have flatulence on a plane. (Can we assume you drink the bitters?)

Here are my personal tips:

1. To make tearing plastic and foil wrap easy, secure the tube in place by pushing in the circles on both ends of the box.  Most boxes have this feature.

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2. Write down you license plate number and keep the information handy, preferably in your wallet. If your car is stolen or you forget where you parked, the police don’t have that information.

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3. Save the front of greeting cards and write a  note to loved ones or your grocery list.

4. Cut off the end of a mostly empty tube of hand cream to remove all  cream left in the container.

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  My favorite tip was about  apologizing, there was some real sound advice here. It never occurred to me that saying, “Sorry I’m late, traffic was heavy,” was not enough. A simple sorry is about the injurer and excuses, not the injured and their feelings. The best apology focuses on the other person and might say,”I’m sorry, you had to wait.”

In the past when Mr. Wonderful* was kept waiting I would say, “I’m sorry, it’s a bad hair day and nothing looked right, I changed outfits five times and then had to hang the stuff back up . . . it’s exhausting,”

It did not address his feelings, and he could not “let it go” and stayed angry.

Now I know. In the future, when I keep Mr. Wonderful waiting, will say something like, “I know my being late triggers your entire Catholic school experience, but that was more than fifty years ago. It’s 2013, get over it!

. . . just saying

*Mr Wonderful is my husband of forty-two years.

Where Were You on November 22, 1963?

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Aging & Attitude

I was in Windham Ashland Jewett high school opening up my locker, and Juliette Judd came running down the hall screaming, “the President has been shot, the President is dead!” There were thirty-five students in my freshman class and Juliette was one of them. My mother referenced the Judd family as uncouth, and her loud raucous behavior confirmed the label. She was scrawny, and had large protruding teeth and scraggly hair; a real character, but you had to love her. Her brother, Timmy Judd, taunted my brother, Victor, into daily after school fights at the Blue Moon Cafe. When I said to Victor, “Don’t go to the Blue Moon!” He answered, “Don’t be stupid.” This went on until Timmy Judd was beaten.

I remember following Juliette through the empty halls to the office where the silence was deafening, then riding the school bus home in quiet. The television remained on during the days that followed, and my younger brother, Matthew, sat hunched on the floor in front of the set to watch. Occasionally one of us older kids would adjust the rabbit ears for better viewing. On Monday, Matthew asked me to come with him to see what he had built. Outside the kitchen door were three crosses protruding from the soft November ground. I was fifteen and speechless but attempted to comfort the five-year old, thinking, If only I could.

This year marks the fiftieth anniversary of President Kennedy’s death and a 2013 AP poll shows more than 59% of those polled still believed more than one person was involved in the President’s murder.[7][8] 

“Turning Point” an AARP magazine article by Bob Schieffer, describes the assassination as the beginning of change. Schieffer defines the time as “the weekend America lost its innocence.” Where was Bob Schieffer on November 22, 1963? He was a twenty-six year-old reporter for his hometown paper, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. Circumstances allowed him to interview the mother of Lee Harvey Oswald and the scoop pole-vaulted his journalistic career. It is an interesting article and the magazine invites readers to share personal accounts.

The focus for the past fifty years has been on why, where, who, and what, and the reason Kennedy went to Dallas pretty much forgotten. He never gave his speech to the Dallas Trade Mart and today the speech is called the  Unspoken Speech.

The speech exemplifies leadership and examines the country’s role in world peace and ends by saying;

   “My friends and fellow citizens: I cite these facts and figures to make it clear that America today is stronger than ever before. Our adversaries have not abandoned their ambitions, our dangers have not diminished, our vigilance cannot be relaxed. But now we have the military, the scientific, and the economic strength to do whatever must be done for the preservation and promotion of freedom.

   That strength will never be used in pursuit of aggressive ambitions — it will always be used in pursuit of peace. It will never be used to promote provocations — it will always be used to promote the peaceful settlement of disputes.

   We in this country, in this generation, are — by destiny rather than choice — the watchmen on the walls of world freedom. We ask, therefore, that we may be worthy of our power and responsibility, that we may exercise our strength with wisdom and restraint, and that we may achieve in our time and for all time the ancient vision of “peace on earth, good will toward men.” That must always be our goal, and the righteousness of our cause must always underlie our strength. For as was written long ago: ‘except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain’.”

Dallas never got to celebrate the President and struggled to honor his memory appropriately. Fortunately, two British expatriates, Cliff Simmn and Peter Wood, have taken on the task of helping the Dallas Community  remember the President with the Unspoken Speech Project. Seven films creatively capture the essence of Kennedy’s assassination on Dallas and the nation.

Sunday, November 10th.The National Geographic Channel will recognize the fiftieth anniversary with a film adaption of the book “Killing Kennedy” by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugards.

As the day approaches, we will all be remembering where we were.

. . . just saying

Meet Me In Fancy Gap

Rainy_Blue_Ridge-27527Fancy Gap is a small town just off the Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia. The name stayed in my head until I conjured up this short story

Aging & Attitude

   The thick boardroom doors to Lion Technology fly open and the boss, Leonia, the grand dame, ceremoniously joins us around the water cooler. We are on break from a strategic planning session. As head of finance, I know to shut up and let Leonia be center stage. Sales representatives, holding paper cups, listen to her important chatter. I linger for a refill as the others return to the meeting room. Leonia whispers, “John, things have changed.”

   She wears a dress of invitation; black and white stripes up and down the skirt, then across the bodice; the zipper concealed in a side seam. She drains the cup with her head thrown back, and runs her tongue full circle around her lips, “Meet me in Fancy Gap.”       

   I'm still in love with her. Memories of our get-a-way cabin go with her high heel tapping as she saunters away.

   Later in the day, I study a quarterly report conflicted, and anticipate a blind copy of an email Leonia will send to her husband, Hector, telling him her plan.

    In the past, I have reneged on my ultimatum, leave Hector or else. Leonia believes I am easy prey.  

   Sure enough, late in the afternoon a bcc copy appears saying; What time are we dining with Sandy & Bob on Sat? Have a division mtg. on Mon in Roanoke. Thought I’d leave early Sun morning for some R&R at Doe Run Cabins. Love u

   The email brings back feelings put aside.

   Once, I asked her, “Why do you cheat on him?”

   “Hector?”

   “Yes, your husband. Why are you cheating on him?”

   “The day I met Hector he wore wool slacks, a blue pin striped dress shirt, a navy sweater draped over his shoulders and loafers. A pulled together look only a model carried off, hector did.”

   I grew impatient for a real answer mesmerized by her words.

   “Is this cheating? You make me happy. When I’m happy, Hector’s happy, real happy.”

   “So we’re doing Hector a favor? You said you loved me, what about love?”

    “Love? I love everything you do.” Sex ended the conversation.

   On Sunday, the drive along the Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia is spectacular. A combination of crimson, gold, amber and tangerine colored leaves compliment the clear blue sky. I stop in Floyd to have breakfast at the Blue Ridge Café.   

   A lively group of men occupies a white metal table near a large front window with the establishment’s name scrolled in black cursive. A waitress greets regulars with, "Good Morning," and saves the "I’m Lorie, your server," for strangers like me. A piece of gray duct-tape across the thumb section of her hand acts like a bandage to protect a cut.

   Time is frozen; it could be 1965.

   I study the menu halfheartedly and listen to the men banter.  

   Jake, a robust man with a white beard and railroad cap makes manly man noises. I imagine him scratching his head and passing gas, it is not pretty. Luther wears suspenders,and his thin curly hair is pulled back in a ponytail. Several other men's stomachs lay beneath the tabletop, threatening to tear their pants. They discuss Obama Care then move on to love.

   Luther clears his throat and says, “What negative feelings do you bring to the relationship?”

   “Are you talking about me throwing the remote at the Giants or Jane catching it?” Jake chuckles.

   “You could’ve cracked the flat screen.” Lorie comments refilling water glasses from a pitcher positioned sideways.

   “No shit, blame Manning. He fumbled the ball.”

   Lorie gives me an hope you are good tipper smile. Says, “Ready to order?”  

   Her look makes me flirt. “How’d you hurt your hand?”

   “Burned it, you know what you want?”

   I want Leonia to stop jerking me around, but do not tell Lorie, and order the Blue Ridge Everything Omelet.

   Thinking about Leonia, I flip open my smart phone, and access her email account. I send Hector an email. Subject: Miss you/Meet in Fancy Gap. Then write a seductive message about missing him. I sign it Love u, and press send. All unbeknown to Leonia. 

   It is a short drive from Floyd to Fancy Gap, MP 189 on Blue Ridge Parkway. The 2010 census counted two hundred and thirty-seven citizens in Fancy Gap. Doe Run Cabins are on Keno Road. Familiar with the area, I arrive around 2pm, and see Leonia’s car parked outside our cabin. Leonia greets me with a big hug and smile. When I tense, she says, “We’re not at Lion Technology, relax.”

  I want to know, “What’s changed?”

   Leonia takes my hand; we go inside and sit on the bed. The black granite tops in the galley kitchen, flat screen TV, and the four-poster bed made with all cotton linen are familiar.

   “It’s serious. Hector has inoperable brain cancer and is probably dying. It may not be long. We'll be together, like you want.”     

   “Probably dying? Geez.”

   She cries. I lose control. We are under the sheets making love when her cell rings.

   It is Hector. He has received my email. I squeeze my hands with apprehension, and listen to their conversation.

   “So you miss me.”

   “Terribly” Leonia gets out of bed and puts on my t-shirt juggling the cell phone.

   Hector’s laugh is hearty and robust, “Well miss me no more, I’m outside your door, knock, knock.” The sound is loud and clear.

   Leonia eyes widen in panic. She hesitates waving her arms for me to hide, then opens the cabin door.

   Hector is wearing a big smile, Ralph Lauren jeans, and Rockports. He hugs Leonia and looking over her shoulder our eyes meet. “John? John, from Lion?”

   His happy expression changes to confusion then no need for an explanation.

   “Hector, I’m sorry about your cancer, please understand.”

   “Cancer, what cancer, why are you here?”

   Later, when Leonia is unpacking she informs me. “Hector wants a divorce. It’s ironic how things work out. Why don’t we buy a cabin on Groundhog Mountain, I’ll call that realtor, what’s her name? You know, she advertises on a billboard on route 8 outside of Floyd.”

   The cicadas produce a symphony sound locals say predict tomorrow will be hot and sunny. The sun sets and stillness surrounds me, grounds me. The Blue Ridge Café Men are back in my head with Luther’s question; what negative feelings do you bring to the relationship, as I leave and close the door.  

. . . just saying

Hillary and Christmas in September

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Aging & Attitude

   On Saturday I went into a big box store looking for soil and house plants, however; the Garden department had been transformed into the Christmas store. Red and green glitter and sparkles reflected off the hot Florida floor; the potting soil, discounted pots, cushions, and pillows were displaced outside. It was September 28th.

   I closed my eyes and kept walking, thinking of Hillary Clinton.   

   Hillary is on the cover of the September issue of New York magazine. Inside appears the article, “Hillary In Midair,” a lengthy discussion about what the Clintons are up to and the possibility of Hillary running in 2016. The family has gained popularity and all three work together in the family business, The Clinton Foundation. The Clinton Global Initiative America, a conference event focused on domestic issues, held in Chicago was Hillary’s first major public appearance since leaving the State Department.

   The author, Joe Hagan tactfully describes how she looked, in stark contrast to Bill’s aging; “she appeared much more youthful-smiling, upright, beaming in a turquoise pantsuit.”

   Joe never let on that she probably had work done. A woman in her place has to, especially if running for president. Joe quotes Hillary laughing to the press, “I’ve been successful at avoiding you people for many months!”

   Joe interviewed many people in “Clinton World” for the article and carefully distinguishes between who is saying what.  Her aides and husband say, “it is too soon and stop speculating.” The Ready for Hillary group believe she’s running, she just doesn’t know she is.

   Then there is the Huma Abedin situation. Abedin, wife of Anthony Weiner (famous for sexting) left Hillary, and returned to New York to accept a consulting contract with Tenco Holdings. The owner, Doug Band, is a Bill Clinton business associate. Some speculate it indicates Hillary is running, others perceive it as friend helping friend.  

   Here is where the Christmas in September comes into play. Hillary explains to Joe; “I’m not in any hurry, I think it’s a serious decision, not to be made lightly, but it’s also not one that has to be made soon. This election is more than three years away, and I just don’t think it’s good for the country.”

   Hillary than makes an analogy about talking to a person at a party who uninterested, and looking over your shoulder to see who else is there. She arrived too early. The anticipation is for someone else.

   That is how I feel about Christmas in September, it is not good for the country.  I am not ready for green sparkle and red glitter; and need time to figure how Santa will fit down the chimney. I relish the  orange-red leaves of Autumn and sweet smell of pumpkin, apple and mincemeat pie, the carving of the turkey.  

   Of course Hillary is running. It is her opportunity to make history, but first she is going to enjoy Thanksgiving.  

. . . just saying

“What Is Next?”

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Aging & Attitude

   A reader inquired, “What’s after Z is for Zigzaggery?” It is a good question.

   The end of the Alphabet Series is an opportunity to take inventory and give “What’s next?” some thought.

   My first post, “Overactive What?” was published in October of 2011. Rereading the piece, I saw room for improvement but laughed. I have picked out some of my favorites: “GPS and Your Hippocampus”, and “We Fallen and Can’t Get Up”. You can find past posts under archives, if you click on a date. Please tell me your favorites.

   I started claudiajustsaying to acquire writing expertise, and planned to post every day, but quickly learned writing well was not easy. Writing is hard work and excruciating if you lose creativity. My challenge? I edit, or rewrite as I write, so it is a slow process and placing a comma a lengthy proposition. Reader comments and encouragement keep pushing me to transform a feeling experience to words.

   During the past two years, I have published ninety-five posts and acquired decent writing skills. To date I have 524 followers, views from over 83 countries, and was Freshly Pressed in August of 2012. Freshly Pressed is similar to being chosen prom queen; your post is featured on the Word Press Home Page. The results, over 1200 views, 97 comments and 87 likes on that day.

   What is next? Well . . . a return to my roots, or using personal experience to inspire a post, for example; getting dressed takes me forever. Because? I constantly put my bra on inside out, then wonder if other women struggle with this faux pas.  No one really wants to hear about my underwear, however the thought gnaws in my head.

 . . . . just saying

   P.S. I look forward to your comments and remember you can comment anonymously if you feel shy. Please click the like button if you enjoyed the post. Likes increase a bloggers status.

 

Z is for Zigzaggery

New Thoughts on Words

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Photography by Patrick Latter

 

Instead of writing about zucchini bread, I thought this up. It is zany….

Z is for Zigzaggery

Zig-zagging along through life

Swimming the course with zest and zeal

Then zap!

A  hand grenade is tossed in your lap

Swerve and sway, get out of the way

Make sharp turns and alterations

Zoom in the zone

Experience Zen . . . . aka; zero expectations

Duck and Dodge, or escape to other zip code destinations

Zigzaggery is not a trip to Zeeland, Zanzibar or a vacation

You are at a zoo, the zebra’s have lost their stripes and duck tape is the only salvation

Zigzaggery! 

Here on earth we call it life

. . . . just saying

l7c5645Patrick Latter’s picture, he used photography skill to create the zigzag picture at the top

Y is for Yawn

New Thoughts on Words

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Aging & Attitude

Conversation. . . is the art of never appearing a bore, of knowing how to say everything interestingly, to entertain with no matter what, to be charming with nothing at all  Guy de Maupassant

The Florida sun, hot and heavy on our heads and shoulders, does not dissuade us from sitting outdoors at Flagler Beachfront Winery. Late in the day, the sun will set behind the renovated “little blue building” and create shade soon. The owners Ken and Kelly planned it that way. Their tag line Come for the wine, stay for the view sums up the intent. Wine is made on site and customers buy wine by the glass or bottle, and order from a tapas menu of grilled flat breads with Brie & Prosciutto or Artichoke and tapenade, to name a few of the food choices. Select grapes from Ken’s 100 acre organic family farm in Ohio, and other vineyards around the country, are used to make their label Beachfront Wine. Ken and Kelly are working owners and a four-year old son is under foot.

Mr. Wonderful, my husband of 42 years, places our order, and we get comfortable for the view. I chat away about what I cannot remember and Mr. Wonderful yawns. A big yawn and uses both hands to cover his wide-open mouth, “I must be tired after playing golf in this heat.”

I think nothing about it and continue, picking up for his lack of participation, when he turns his head distracted by the conversation at the next table. He is not listening to a word.

“Am I a yawn? A bore.”

Yawn is an involuntary reaction to fatigue or boredom.

Since even I cannot remember what I was saying,  conclude the conversation is tedious, monotonous, humdrum, and ho-hum.

“How do you keep the music playing?”  A Tony Bennett song, creeps into my head.

What to talk about?

Weather is a safe topic, changes every day, but unless you are a meteorologist, discussing rain only takes a few minutes.

Politics, World News?  Both seem risky. That leaves us with humor.

So I say to Mr. Wonderful, “Did you remember to take the garbage out?”

….just saying