Aging & Attitude

“Have you heard about Todd?”

“No, what about Todd?”

“He went out walking and fell.”

“Oh my God, how?”

“It’s a long story, has to do with the hippocampus.”

“The hippocampus, what is that?”

“You never heard of the hippocampus, the part of your brain that remembers things, especially new stuff.  If you move to a new neighborhood and go out for a walk, how to get back home. Where you parked at the mall or the date of a doctor’s appointment.  Well Todd’s hippocampus is shrinking, just like, he used to be six foot one and is now five ten.  It’s part of the aging process. Remember “The Graduate” and Dustin Hoffman learning that the key to the future was plastics, the hippocampus is now the key to remembering, or so it seems.

“Are you sure? I read AARP’s recent article “Age Proof Your Brain,” It lists ten things, and I don’t remember reading about any hippopotamus…

“That’s because it’s new information, your hippocampus could already be damaged. Ever have hypoxia, heart attack, respiratory failure, sleep apnea or near drowning?  They discovered new benefits to jumping up and down for extended periods. Exercise may slow shrinkage of the hippocampus and specifically the part that passes new information into permanent storage.

“Enough, I’m getting a headache. Tell me about Todd.”

“Well, it seems Todd goes on walks and is gone forever. Apparently, he gets lost in the neighborhood. Marilyn suggested he charge the GPS and take it with him.”

“Todd’s not that old to be that forgetful and who is Marilyn?”

“Marilyn. . . his wife.”

“Marilyn isn’t his wife. He’s married to Barbara.”

“Marilyn’s his wife, do you want to hear what happened? So Todd, by the way he’s almost eighty, goes for his walk and after hitting “GO HOME,”  on the GPS, gets dizzy from recalculating, falls down and hits his head.  A neighbor called 911. They took him to Emergency, eight stitches and he is still confused.”

“Todd’s not even fifty. His wife is Barbara, I invited them to dinner. What did the doctor say?”

“Stop using the GPS and see his regular doctor in two weeks.  It’s probably his spatial intelligence. There is evidence these GPS systems are effecting everyone’s ability to navigate, not just us Baby Boomers. I’m talking about the Todd and Marilyn Smith on the corner.”

“There’s another Todd on this street? How will they get to the doctor’s office without the use of a GPS?”

“Barbara’s thinking of taking a taxi.”

“You mean Marilyn, right?”

“Whatever.”                                                                                         

                                                   . . . Just saying