Hack Saw Happiness

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 The Happiness Series

I am standing in the kitchen and Mr. Wonderful, my husband Bob, walks behind me headed for the garage.
“Can you get me the hack saw?” I ask.

“The hack saw?”

“Yes, that small saw with the black handle. Isn’t that what it’s called?”

“Why do you want a hack saw?”

I roll my eyes to heaven.

I have used the electric knife before and know the cord and blade are in the back of the silverware draw. However, it will be quicker if he brings the saw back with him when he is done doing whatever it was he was going to do in the garage.

Now he stands behind me breathing over my shoulder as I explain.

“If you saw this plastic container in half, I’ll be able to get the rest of the lotion out.”
The plastic bottle has been sitting upside down the past three days, and I have been sticking my pinky finger in the opening then applying lotion to my arms and legs.

Speechless at first, Mr. Wonderful says, “Lotion is on sale at Publix, I’ll go buy some.

“It’s not about the money.” It’s more like . . . . children in China have very dry skin, so eat your green beans. And this lotion has sun screen in it!”

“Okay, so you’re making a statement, you don’t want to be wasteful?”

“Sort of. Is recycling a good choice if a million gallons of water are used to clean the container.”

He interrupts, “Johnson’s Baby Magic  is a Bogo (buy one get one free) this week.”

“I feel better using the spatula to remove the dribs and drabs. See it practically fills this jar. It makes me happy.” I look at him and smile.

He smiles back. “Great. So you are on to a new kind of cause.”

“If I wanted a new  cause or to protest something, I’d refuse to show my license to have a mammogram?”

“Why do you need a license to have a mammogram?”

“Well, any picture identification. Some type of mammogram fraud. However, I cannot recognize my breasts now that they almost reach the floor. I do not argue.”

“Claudia, how many people would use a hack saw to get the last drop of lotion out of a bottle?”

I roll my eyes and say to Mr. Wonderful, “A bread knife really doesn’t work.”

. . . . just saying

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12 thoughts on “Hack Saw Happiness

  1. Mr. Wonderful, I will say a prayer for you every night and I ask that you do the same for me.. I thought I was the only one who went through something like this.. It’s nice to know that you and I might be able to start a brotherhood of sorts for Husbands that fall into these situations, like us!! May we all have a hack saw in our garages!!!

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  2. There’s a simpler way to do this.

    After every use from day one, tap the bottom of the lotion container against a hard surface to make sure everything is sinking down as it depletes.

    When the pump no longer delivers lotion, take a utility knife and make a half inch triangular hole in a bottom corner of the bottle.

    Squeeze out the lotion from there and plug it with a little wad of toilet paper, still tapping after each use.

    Store it leaning against something so that everything sinks down to that hole. You can put the hacksaw away.

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  3. Claudia, I can relate. I cut containers of lotion (etc.) in half with scissors and use Q-tips to get the very last of my foundation out from the bottle. It just seems wasteful to throw a container with some stuff in it away, especially if it is something like foundation which I spend a bit more money on. But also with $5.00 or less lotion too, just because 🙂

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