Monkeying Around Washington

Monkeying Around by

Aging & Attitude

How do you stop Mitt Romney from telephoning?

On Wednesday, January 11th, 8PM the phone rings. I answer and hear a husky energetic voice say, “This is Mitt Romney.” I immediately hang up.

What is this man thinking?

Ryan Seacrest is center stage on TV and ready to say emphatically and for the eleventh time, “This is American Idol.”

Mitt is not deterred.

The next morning Claire calls with an invitation to attend a Sunday Republican rally at 4:30PM to greet, not meet the presidential candidate and his wife. I do not recognize Claire’s voice and she cannot be interrupted. This is not my friend Claire.

The former Governor, Romney must be living on a different planet, the Giants playoff game is Sunday.

As a courtesy, I stay on the line to say I have a previous engagement, but would not attend even if I did not, there is no such option. “STOP PHONING ME!” I scream into a dead connection.

The “caller unknown” phone calls continue morning, noon and night. I know it is Mitt, because we are on the Do Not Call List, although he does not leave a message and it might be Newt. I have no desire to listen to him either and do not answer.

Candidates have taken to using toss-a-way cells, it is cheaper and there is no turn around time when a last-minute rally is organized.  Evidently, as with insider trading, politicians are exempt from complying with the Do Not Call laws ( 888-382-1222) and take liberty to phone citizens at their pleasure.

Although not a Republican, I registered as one for the primary. It is misleading; I give the party that.

I was registered Independent and did not switch to Democratic because that primary is a done deal and I am not really a Democratic either.

If I am not a Republican, Democratic or Independent, what am I?

An angry voter, feeling like a mother needing to scold the children and yell, “Go to your rooms and don’t come out until you can act you age and solve the country’s problems.”

Oh, “And when you come out, lower your voice.”

                                                                                        . . . . Just Saying

Uncle Sam Shenanigans

Aging & Attitude

Uncle Sam Shenanigans

(Conversation between Uncle Sam and Mr. Working Middle Class)

“You know Mr. Working Middle Class, Congress is going to raise your taxes.”

“No way Uncle Sam, you’re kidding, right?”

“Am I a Kidder?  On Fox Sunday News, Democratic Senator Dick Durbin said, ‘I can’t believe, that at a time when working families in this country are struggling paycheck to paycheck, when we need them to have the resources to buy things in our economy, to create wealth and profitability and more jobs, that the Republican position is they’ll raise the payroll tax on working families? I think that just defies logic.’

“Me too, I already pay enough income tax.”

“No, they’re leaving income tax alone. Payroll tax, well really Social Security Payroll tax, FICA, you pay half and your employer pays the other half, Social Security Entitlement.”

“Social Security Entitlement, don’t you mean Social Security Benefits that I’m entitled to because I gave you money from my pay; and my employer matched that amount, to invest for my retirement and health care.”

“Right, only I didn’t invest all of it, but let’s stay focused on the Republicans. It’s not a real tax increase, call it a take back, or take away….your pay will be less because you can’t get the tax break you got. Don’t look so puzzled, payroll taxes were reduced by 2% for a year so working people could buy more stuff and stimulate the economy, create jobs. It’s time to start paying your full share again. Republicans, simply don’t want a lower rate extended.”

“Oh, I get it. Just like Bush gave the wealthy tax breaks and now it’s time for them to start paying their full share again.”

“Yes, only Republicans are smarter, they’ll never pay the 3.25% surtax on income over one million proposed by the Democrats to cover the deficit created by your 2% break. And nobody will notice when they extend their tax breaks, again.”

“Republicans have a better plan?”

“Yuppie, Republicans want to pay with cuts elsewhere. House Speaker, John Boehner recommends:

  • Freeze Federal Employee’s pay until 2015
  • Reduce bureaucracy by 200,000 jobs through attrition
  • Raise Medicare premiums for the wealthy
  • Deny unemployment benefits and food stamps for incomes over seven figures”

“Won’t that increase employment? People earning one million dollars are eligible for unemployment and food stamps?”

“Get real, the wealthy live paycheck to paycheck too.”

“Neither of these bills will pass.”

“You got that right, Mr. Working Middle Class.”

“What’s Congress going to do?”

“It’s an election year, extend the 2%, and borrow to cover the deficit. Don’t be so concerned with the wealthy.”

“You got to be kidding me.”

“Do I look like a Kidder?”

                                                                Just Saying