What Is Vogue

A Michael Knors Design

Vogue is synonymous with fashion, trend, craze, fad, style and the latest. . . exclusivity.

Designer fashion has always been for the rich, however, now even the rich question. . . what they can afford.

Yesterday the March issue of Vogue magazine came in the mail. It is two hundred and seventy-five pages of beautiful photos and many articles.

My daughter used sky miles to subscribe, but since she’s not billed, doesn’t know how to stop them from coming. I don’t usually read the articles because the print is too small, but the title, What Is It With the Price of Clothes?, intrigued me.

Apparently only the richest of the richest are buying. But designers aren’t complaining, because prices are climbing. Channel’s classic quilted flap bag now sells for ten thousand dollars, double what it was five years ago. Why would Channel increase the cost and why do the rich pay the significant jump?

Well, if only the richest of the richest can afford to buy their status increases and so does designers’ profits. . .a win win

However, none of that is my concern. My worry is what to do with the magazines filled with pretty pictures.

Before Covid I would bring magazines to the hospital for their reading cart. Remember reading carts? Sometimes I’d leave them in a doctor’s waiting room. I can’t do that any more. So out of desperation I stacked them.

What do you think?

I’m still conflicted about throwing them out.These are some of the photo from the current magazine.

Ruff, tough and baggie are stylish. I don’t go for any of these looks, although the shoes are classy.

The pictures below aren’t from a photo shoot, but from a professional photographer on the street looking to prove that messy is a trend. I thought a large open over filled hand bag a pick-pickets dream. Wrong! Today, it’s “a marker of modern womanhood”. Go figure.

To make matters worse, I’m binge watching Project Runway and haven’t seen anything I’d buy it I could afford to.

I was never cool, but. . . still. . . is it really fashionable to look frumpy, and messy, your hair in disarray?

Please let me know if there is a way to cancel a subscription you aren’t paying for.

. . . just saying

Suing Santa

Life becomes more challenging as we age. Do you agree?

Why do I say that?

Well, in spite of my desire to write and post more often, staying  healthy interferes. I am either at a doctor’s office, the ER or on hold in an attempt to solve technical problems for mine or my husband’s diabetic pump. So, I was happy to get dressed up and go out with friends. First we had lunch at Rose Villa

Rose Villa is a comfortable casual restaurant in a unique historic setting in Ormond Beach, Florida.

We feature Southern inspired cuisine, including our signature southern fried chicken,

classic craft cocktails and an ample selection of wines.

Built in the late 1800’s, Rose Villa was established as a bed and breakfast in 1901.

A small exclusive adjunct to Henry Flagler’s Ormond Hotel, it accommodated important guests

who preferred more privacy than the famous hotel afforded. It thrived for many years,

later became a real estate office, and eventually began to suffer from its age.

The beautiful old building came back to life when it was purchased by Bill Jones in 2007.

With an amazing vision, he transformed the original Rose Villa into the Victorian jewel it is today.

or a leisurely dining experience, you will be charmed.

From the bold cranberry and apple green colors on the outside to the magnificent custom

wallpapered walls and ceilings throughout, you are transported to the era

of the 1920’s with every minute detail.

Today, Rose Villa offers a polished casual atmosphere with Southern hospitality.

After lunch, we gathered at Juliette’s home for fun and games. Dan The Man joined us, but was on his best behavior, available only for pictures.

Playing the game, Suing Santa was a blast! So I searched on line, but only found the Santa Left Right game, on Etsy. You pass a gift bags left then right. It cost $3.49 to down load. I paid!

I didn’t want to sue Santa anyway, it would have cost sooooooooooo much more.

What a different world we live in.

 My grandkids are coming and I’ll put money in the gift bags.

I had fun with the girls.

The Alphabet Series-O is for Ordinary

Aging & Attitude

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New Thoughts on Words

“Honey, I’m home,” yells Mr. Wonderful,* as he parades himself through the front door carrying a boxed Hamilton Beach toaster oven I requested he buy. I meet him in the kitchen as he continues saying, “You’re gonna love it,” his chest buffed out, ready to strut his feathers like he is a peacock.

“Great,” I respond as excited as he is, “Was it still on sale?”

“Yes, $37.99.” He answers and reaches for a sharp knife to cut through the cellophane tape.

“Wait!” I demand. “Don’t open it! You didn’t get the red one. It says black, see.”

I point to the bold lettering on the box.

Hamilton Beach Toaster Oven

Black

“What’s the difference? They didn’t have a red one. Black, red, it makes toast, heats rolls, melts cheese.”

“Black is ordinary, dull, predictable. Black lacks distinction. Red adds, pizzazz, makes a statement.”

He says, “Who needs a statement? I want toast in the morning, ordinary, plain toast. I add cherry jelly if I need pizzazz. Dull and ordinary is just fine by me.”

“Fine? As in average, common and mundane. I want better than fine. Red adds color, interest against the black granite. I’ll take it back, where’s the receipt?”

“What difference does it make, nobody sees it. It’s a toaster.”

“I see it. Now I’m a nobody?”

“Claudia, that’s not what I meant, you’re being ridiculous, why can’t you ever be happy?”

“So I’m a ridiculous unhappy nobody.”

“I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“It doesn’t matter what you said, what you meant was, STOP being a pain in MY butt and settle for ordinary.”

“Geezzzzzzzzzz, What if it only came in black, you’d have to be happy with black.”

“Now I should fake it, pretend I like humdrum black. Did you look for chrome? Chrome, at least chrome would be different.

“You’re right. I’ll take it back. Why be ordinary? God forbid we’re ordinary. Whatever you want. If a red toaster oven makes you happy, I’m happy too. Yada, yada, yada”

*Mr. Wonderful is my husband of forty-two years. This was posted in 2013. He returned the black toaster oven and we still have the red one.
The picture on the left was taken this morning. Still looking good he prefers to be called, Bobbie C. And yes we are still married. . .fifty-two years.

….just saying

Pumpkin Bread

As Autumn as it Gets in Florida

The temperatures have dropped in Florida and today, I wore a coat outside to enjoy my coffee in the dark at 6:45 A.M. I made pumpkin bread to celebrate. The recipe was from a Lafayette Cook Book published in 1995 as a fundraiser for the historical society. It called for two and two-third cups of sugar, too high for me, so I reduced the sugar to one cup. The reason I baked vs bought, was to control the sugar.

The chopping and measuring took time because I’m 75 years old and things. . .take time. I have to remember if I put in the baking powder in or not; and loose count of the cups of flour. Then need to be extra careful not to burn myself, etc., but it makes two loafs.

So, I purchased a box of pumpkin bread at Aldi’s, and other than the amount of sugar, and prep time about fifteen minutes. It was marketed as a limited edition item. That caught my attention.

This lower left picture is the dried pumpkin coming to life once introduced to liquid. The middle, ready to go in the oven and the third, a comparison of all three breads. You can see, we sampled the loaf bread because the pumpkin smell was, well like_____ Fall in New Jersey.

The box pumpkin bread smelled like Fall in New Jersey, too.

What Do You Like to Cook?

Today, I was befuddled when asked, “What do you like to cook?”

I do like to cook, have been cooking for all of my married like, fifty-two years, and think I’m a good cook.

However I was stumped.

So I shared what I was fixing for dinner; turkey burgers with honey mustard sauce, Aldi’s Asian Salad (it comes in a bag you mix up at home), and sweet potatoes fries.

The sweet potatoes look burned because they are. . .I have a new oven and haven’t mastered the air fry, but we prefer crispy to soggy.

The honey mustard sauce I improvised. It’s honey mustard thinned with apple cider vinegar and softened with mayo or Greek yogurt.

The turkey burger recipe is my friend Betsy’s; diced,onion, apple and celery, one pound ground turkey, brown and cook on each side for five minutes.

I totally enjoy the dinner. The humidity lifted and we ate out doors.

What do you like to cook?

The Alphabet Series The Letter M

I wrote Minutiae in 2013, so ten years ago and remember seeing a woman who reminded me of myself walking. The rest of the story. . .well was pure fabrication. Minutiae means little things, details or nonsense. Today, October 11, 2023 the minutiae in my life is overwhelming. My husband was hospitalized last week, and the follow-up care is detailed and unbelievable.

We are both 75 years old, and we have been married 52 years. My husband has survived pancreatic cancer, and now has prostrate cancer, again. He has no pancreas, spleen, gallbladder, appendix, or thyroid. Recently, we added some devices, and now has a pacemaker, watchman, insulin pump, and a nine inch rod in his arm because; he scattered his humerus bone!

However he does have full head of hair and all his own teeth. As a member of the medical community commented; “He looks better in person than on paper.”

He was admitted for Metabolic Encephalophy and in need of emergency treatment. After two nights and three days in the hospital the doctors said they could find nothing else wrong with him, and the alarming indicators has retreated to normal.

My conclusion; his body needed to be rebooted and reset to his default settings. Needless to say writing played second fiddle to the shenanigans. Hopefully you’ll enjoy the story below.

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Minutiae

Traffic on Granada Street was light.  An intense Florida sun warmed the car’s interior and made the steering wheel hot.  My plan was to leisurely drive home along the Tomoka River, when a young woman walking caught my attention.  She could have been me forty years ago, her long oval face and golden blonde hair looked so familiar.

Circling the block for a second look, I saw she wore a lively yellow and tangerine colored sundress exposing the right amount of skin.  Spaghetti straps tied in bows relaxed on her shoulders.  The dress was vintage hippie.

I parked, got out of the car and stood in the shade.  In the distance, she sat on a bus stop bench, her straight back and firm chin taken for granted, a slouch bag at her side, intriguing me.   I approached her directly, “Excuse me, can you tell me where Found Treasures Consignment Shop is?”  It was a ruse.  I had been there the day before to leave clothing and knew the exact location.
Looking up, she smiled and repeated my question, “Found Treasures Consignment Store?  Sure, go across the street and see that alley between the buildings?  She raised a hand wearing a mood ring and pointed. “By the Oak tree there’s like a narrow path that like…. you know what; I’ll show you.”

Closer, I saw freckles on her nose like I had.  Her platform sandals looked comfortable and practical. Her toenails painted cherry red.  She looked stylish, as I remembered myself to be.

“That isn’t really necessary.”

“Oh hush, I love that store.”

“Thanks, I’m fairly new to Florida and never sure where I’m going.”

“Me too, I’m like forever lost.  Where are you from?”

“New Jersey, I retired and moved here two years ago.

She came to Daytona for bike week and met her boyfriend.
“You know that show Jersey Shore?  You know that guy Mike, “The Situation”?  That’s who my boyfriend looks like, only he’s got bigger muscles.”  She chewed gum and blew a pink bubble announcing, “No way was I going home.  He’s like not the one, but it’s cool.”

The traffic was heavy now. We stood on the sidewalk waiting for an opportunity to cross. Standing in the hot sun, my mind wandered to the time I was her age and realized how lost she was.

A yellow corvette exceeding the speed limit created an opening in the traffic.  She looped her hand through my elbow and we rushed arm and arm across the street.

Standing on the cracked sidewalk, she turned to face me, patted my thin windblown hair in place, and asked, “Did I tell you I’m going on tour with Tony Bennett?”

Tony Bennett, the singer?  I thought her too young to know a favorite of mine.

“Yes, THE Tony Bennett! You know cause of Daytona’s Music Festival, he, well, Mr. Bennett was performing at the Peabody.”

“Ms. Witch”, my friend Michelle, that’s what we call her cause she’s nasty, we’re like playing Beach Volley Ball and there’s this fight. Witch got into it, scratching, and pulling hair, using the F word and the N word.  I got my tanning lotion and walked away.  Mr. Bennett’s daughter, Toni, saw the whole thing.  She liked me, like right away.  Said I had character or something.  Like, she just gave me a backstage pass.  I started hanging around, helping, and now we’re going on tour.  You know, he’s not Lady Ga Ga, but it’s cool.”

We arrived at the Consignment Shop and opened the door.  A tinker bell jingle announced our entrance. Women’s cast off clothing, many with designer labels packed the shop.  Displayed on the walls were glass necklaces, teardrop crystal pendants, and Swarovski pearls.  Coordinated outfits in shades of green, their potential enhanced by pink accessories, were arranged on hangers.

“I love this stuff.  Look at this.”  She wrapped a four-inch wide black plastic belt with a rhinestone buckle around her waist, shook her head, and returned it to a rack.”

“Minutiae,” I mumbled.

“What did you say?” she giggled.

“Minutiae, little stuff, the details of life.”

“Mi-nooshee-sha, I love that word! What does it mean?”

“Small, insignificant things that don’t seem to matter, then do.”

“Oh, my God! I’m trying this on.”  She exclaimed and slipped into a dressing room carrying an old dress of mine.

It was made of rich black crepe fabric.  The neckline flowed off the shoulders leaving a v shape in the back. Two panels buttoned creating a peak-a-boo above the waistline of a pencil thin skirt.  Its hem had hit the crest of my calf.

“I’m buying this.  It’s like the perfect dress!” she said emphatically outside the dressing room, twirling, as I had done, her blue-green eyes so young and true. I smiled remembering that pleasure of certainty.

“You look great in it.”

She did. I felt light-headed as a wave of emotion cascaded through me.  I had worn that dress to a friend’s wedding, a business conference, and my fortieth birthday party.  “Do you need shoes?”  I asked reminiscing about an elegant pair worn with the dress.

Tasteful, is how to describe them, the heels not too high, the straps not too tight.  I kept them. They were barely worn.

“I got black flip-flops.”

At the cash register, she counted six singles and forty-two cents turning her head with perfect range of motion to ask, “Do you have children?”

“A daughter.”

We left to say goodbye.

“It’s been cool meeting you.”  She said hugging me.

Happy my dress would be going on an adventure, but not wanting to give my secret away, I hesitated then whispered, “Don’t live your life in regret.”

I strolled toward my car, looking back.  The late afternoon sun filtered through the oak trees creating a shadow on her diminutive figure and the sun’s glare caused me doubt she had really been here, while my wedding song, “We’ve Only Just Begun,” played in my head.

…just saying

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The Letter K

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J is for Junk Drawer

Marshall says, “Every Man Needs a Junk Drawer.”

My husband, of 52 years, walked into the kitchen and asked, “Have you seen my what-ch-ma- thing?”

I knew exactly what he is talking about because he had on glasses and was holding a plastic tube of wood glue.

“You wanted the who-GA-ma-call-it put back together, and I need it.” He stammered and shook his head; his eyes focused on a ceiling corner in an attempt to retrieve the information.

I relished his sputtering, because earlier in the day our discussion about his health ended with him yelling, “You’re right, you’re always right, but you can’t make me do it.” And me leaving the room to avoid a fist fight.

He followed me with comments about who was right versus wrong, and smashed his toes, which hung over the front of his slippers, into the floor molding; and consequently hipped hopped about, flamingo style, scrunching his face like a shriveled prune and swearing, . . . shit. . . shit. . . shit.

I gave him no sympathy.

After rubbing his toes, he blurted out the real issue, “Why can’t we have a junk drawer?”

Yes, you heard right, we do not have a junk drawer. I am philosophically opposed to the concept and wonder why people accumulate items, they do not want and have no need for; useless items, that fill a complete kitchen drawer.

“We have managed for fifty two years with out a kitchen drawer bursting with rubbish. Why would you want one now!” I yelled back.

“Marshal says every man needs a junk drawer, all the guys have one, I’m the only one who doesn’t.”

“Marshal says? Okay,. . . You want a junk drawer, for things you have no use for but, want to keep just in case. I get it, and what would you put in this drawer?” I asked.

“My who-Ga-ma-call-it, golf balls and golf tees, I don’t know, STUFF!” He answered.

“Don’t you keep golf balls and tees in your golf bag? And the what-ch-ma-thing is in your tool box.”

“You’re right, you’re right, I hate it when you’re right!”

The Alphabet Series H is for Hanky Panky

The Alphabet Series

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New Thoughts on Words

H is for hanky panky, two words joined by alliteration, not meaning.

Tommy James and the Shondell’s song, “My baby does the hanky panky”, creates a picture of a couple making out in a 1966 Mustang convertible. There is a mischievous fooling around atmosphere and we know the girl is easy.

But what is hanky panky?

Webster’s (Standard Reference Works Publishing Co. 1956) definition; The meaningless professional talk of a juggler or magician, jugglery or legerdemain.

Sounds like politicians talking about the sequestration.

The term hanky panky is sighted in the first edition of Punch magazine Volume 1 September 1841.

In London, a con-man said to a judge in court; “Only a little hanky-panky, my lud. The people likes it; they loves to be cheated before their faces. One, two, three-presto-begone. I’ll show your ludship as pretty a trick of putting a piece of money in your eye and taking it from your elbow, as you ever beheld.”

A later reference is from George Bernhard Shaw’s Geneva, 1939:

Hanky panky makes us think things are unethical, and referenced as Hocus Pocus or Hokey Pokey, grew in popularity when sexy and illicit acts were included.

It was playful and school children wiggled to the hokey pokey to practice eye hand coordination skills.

The closest we can get to that ridiculous fun for all is the Harlem Shake.

Google Hanky Panky and you will discover many companies sell lingerie and naughty items, but only one company makes the lace.

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Klauber Brothers is a sixth generation family business and creators of an exclusive Signature Lace for Hanky Panky, a leader in intimate apparel.

The Klauber family was lucky to escape the treacherous trickery that forced them to surrender their business and never considered they would be in the  hanky panky business. They fled Nazis Germany on the SS Manhattan. It was the last boat to America in 1939.

Their story and craftmanship adds sobering thoughts to hanky panky, but I still hear lyrics in my head and think about a randition of the Harlem Shake, me mouthing the words…My baby does the hanky panky. I saw her walkin’ on down the line You know I saw her for the very first time A pretty little girl standin’ all alone “Hey pretty baby, can I take you home?”