The Alphabet Series-O is for Ordinary

Aging & Attitude

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New Thoughts on Words

“Honey, I’m home,” yells Mr. Wonderful,* as he parades himself through the front door carrying a boxed Hamilton Beach toaster oven I requested he buy. I meet him in the kitchen as he continues saying, “You’re gonna love it,” his chest buffed out, ready to strut his feathers like he is a peacock.

“Great,” I respond as excited as he is, “Was it still on sale?”

“Yes, $37.99.” He answers and reaches for a sharp knife to cut through the cellophane tape.

“Wait!” I demand. “Don’t open it! You didn’t get the red one. It says black, see.”

I point to the bold lettering on the box.

Hamilton Beach Toaster Oven

Black

“What’s the difference? They didn’t have a red one. Black, red, it makes toast, heats rolls, melts cheese.”

“Black is ordinary, dull, predictable. Black lacks distinction. Red adds, pizzazz, makes a statement.”

He says, “Who needs a statement? I want toast in the morning, ordinary, plain toast. I add cherry jelly if I need pizzazz. Dull and ordinary is just fine by me.”

“Fine? As in average, common and mundane. I want better than fine. Red adds color, interest against the black granite. I’ll take it back, where’s the receipt?”

“What difference does it make, nobody sees it. It’s a toaster.”

“I see it. Now I’m a nobody?”

“Claudia, that’s not what I meant, you’re being ridiculous, why can’t you ever be happy?”

“So I’m a ridiculous unhappy nobody.”

“I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“It doesn’t matter what you said, what you meant was, STOP being a pain in MY butt and settle for ordinary.”

“Geezzzzzzzzzz, What if it only came in black, you’d have to be happy with black.”

“Now I should fake it, pretend I like humdrum black. Did you look for chrome? Chrome, at least chrome would be different.

“You’re right. I’ll take it back. Why be ordinary? God forbid we’re ordinary. Whatever you want. If a red toaster oven makes you happy, I’m happy too. Yada, yada, yada”

*Mr. Wonderful is my husband of forty-two years. This was posted in 2013. He returned the black toaster oven and we still have the red one.
The picture on the left was taken this morning. Still looking good he prefers to be called, Bobbie C. And yes we are still married. . .fifty-two years.

….just saying

Inconvenient Weather

In Florida, weathermen or weather-people, to be politically correct; now refer to weather as inconvenient.

Well. . .your feet might get wet, your hair blown, and you’ll have to follow a car’s tail-lights to get home. But, you’ll be safe, in a down pour.

It is inconvenient; but catchy and cute. Isn’t it?

The expression hasn’t caught on in the north. Weather people announce the above freezing temperatures void of express, with little regard for the lack of sunshine.

Inconvenient weather is normal, and expected.

I don’t know what’s happening in other parts of the country.

So, on a normal fall day in the north, we drove to Indian Ladder Farms to buy apples. The variety of apples is outstanding and their sugar apple donuts memorable.

As we were leaving, I saw a restored Jaguar, and asked the owner if I could take a picture. He offered to take a picture of me in the vehicle.

We got to chatting. He and his wife are Florida Snow Birds and owners of a window washing service, Mark Washing Windows. They have a place in Port Orange, twenty-five miles from me.

They don’t think Florida’s weather is inconvenient and will be heading south after the holidays.

Is your weather inconvenient?

That’s Not Me

We’re visiting family in Delmar, N.Y., and the leaves are falling fast.

We arrived Wednesday to a chilly temperature of 35 degrees. I enjoy the crisp air and sleeping under a ton of blankets, so the adjustment from Florida is welcome. There is only a smidge of color, and most of the leaves have fallen. The leaves are blown into the street, not raked, and not bagged. The town routinely vacuums them, following a schedule similar to their garbage pick-up.

You can view my story, Wheels of Circumstance at Miriam Drioi’s That’s Not Me. I’m a contributing writer to her blog series.

The story originated when I met Vera in college in 1966. She and her mother had to run into the woods to flee the Russians and escape to Austria on November 4th, 1956

I’d love you to share this story, with family and friends, if you’re comfortable .

A Great Idea

Make a Photo-Book

Here’s a great idea Choose favorite pictures, saved on your phone over the past year, and make a photo-book. There are many companies, some more popular than others, but the one I used can upload them to your phone. I can’t tell you how because my granddaughter-in-law made the magic happen.

I have to confess it took me hours and hours to do the rest, and than hours to use the sale voucher I purchased, but it was worth it.

I received the book today.

I don’t take many pictures, so I had to beg, borrow, and steal from other places. But, next year I’ll think about making a book as I take pictures throughout 2024.

It’s hard to believe there are only 65 days left in the year.

Say Goodbye

Autumn Thoughts

I have trouble saying goodbye, not to people. . . I think I’m good at that. But to objects;  like my orange library card with the metal stamp. Clothing, my black cocktail dress (it still fits), mush cards from my son, and Martha Stewart Magazines.

 The above photo was snapped from a Halloween issue.

There was a time, when I traipsed through the woods to find and assembled something like that. Well it never came close, but had a lot of dried stuff.

 In Florida, that is not happening.

The alternative is to thumb through the magazine, and I do so, happily.

Autumn is short lived in Florida. There is no raking of leaves, then jumping into the piles.

I still hear the children laughing.

Remember. . . this was called fun.

The Christmas hurry up will begin Thanksgiving day, or November 23rd, and like it or not. . . my world will turn red, and green.

 I’ll have to say goodbye to the golden colors of fall.

 I’ll tuck Martha’s magazines away, take out the past Christmas issues, and go into the woods to cut down our Christmas tree.

The Alphabet Series The Letter N

Photo by Ichad Windhiagiri

The New Normal

Who knew this would be the new normal

Toes that no longer wiggle, giggle or dance, they sleep

Then suddenly cry, “Sudden leg syndrome is attacking my feet.”

Hands that can’t twist open a door

Or flip pages any more

Kitchen tops decorated with items I don’t want not forget

A part of my brain

Ridge in thought

Like stiff knees reluctant to bend

Grey cells will not receive or send

Exhausted and depleted

Comfort myself with food Mama cooked best

Meatloaf and mash-potatoes

Gives my cerebellum a rest

So, what if I forget to lock a door, a date, a score. . . and more

I’m old, invisible, and small

Don’t fret_____ explore!

Close your eyes, remember your youth and come with me

Imagine places we have never been before

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Pumpkin Bread

As Autumn as it Gets in Florida

The temperatures have dropped in Florida and today, I wore a coat outside to enjoy my coffee in the dark at 6:45 A.M. I made pumpkin bread to celebrate. The recipe was from a Lafayette Cook Book published in 1995 as a fundraiser for the historical society. It called for two and two-third cups of sugar, too high for me, so I reduced the sugar to one cup. The reason I baked vs bought, was to control the sugar.

The chopping and measuring took time because I’m 75 years old and things. . .take time. I have to remember if I put in the baking powder in or not; and loose count of the cups of flour. Then need to be extra careful not to burn myself, etc., but it makes two loafs.

So, I purchased a box of pumpkin bread at Aldi’s, and other than the amount of sugar, and prep time about fifteen minutes. It was marketed as a limited edition item. That caught my attention.

This lower left picture is the dried pumpkin coming to life once introduced to liquid. The middle, ready to go in the oven and the third, a comparison of all three breads. You can see, we sampled the loaf bread because the pumpkin smell was, well like_____ Fall in New Jersey.

The box pumpkin bread smelled like Fall in New Jersey, too.

What Do You Like to Cook?

Today, I was befuddled when asked, “What do you like to cook?”

I do like to cook, have been cooking for all of my married like, fifty-two years, and think I’m a good cook.

However I was stumped.

So I shared what I was fixing for dinner; turkey burgers with honey mustard sauce, Aldi’s Asian Salad (it comes in a bag you mix up at home), and sweet potatoes fries.

The sweet potatoes look burned because they are. . .I have a new oven and haven’t mastered the air fry, but we prefer crispy to soggy.

The honey mustard sauce I improvised. It’s honey mustard thinned with apple cider vinegar and softened with mayo or Greek yogurt.

The turkey burger recipe is my friend Betsy’s; diced,onion, apple and celery, one pound ground turkey, brown and cook on each side for five minutes.

I totally enjoy the dinner. The humidity lifted and we ate out doors.

What do you like to cook?

The Alphabet Series The Letter M

I wrote Minutiae in 2013, so ten years ago and remember seeing a woman who reminded me of myself walking. The rest of the story. . .well was pure fabrication. Minutiae means little things, details or nonsense. Today, October 11, 2023 the minutiae in my life is overwhelming. My husband was hospitalized last week, and the follow-up care is detailed and unbelievable.

We are both 75 years old, and we have been married 52 years. My husband has survived pancreatic cancer, and now has prostrate cancer, again. He has no pancreas, spleen, gallbladder, appendix, or thyroid. Recently, we added some devices, and now has a pacemaker, watchman, insulin pump, and a nine inch rod in his arm because; he scattered his humerus bone!

However he does have full head of hair and all his own teeth. As a member of the medical community commented; “He looks better in person than on paper.”

He was admitted for Metabolic Encephalophy and in need of emergency treatment. After two nights and three days in the hospital the doctors said they could find nothing else wrong with him, and the alarming indicators has retreated to normal.

My conclusion; his body needed to be rebooted and reset to his default settings. Needless to say writing played second fiddle to the shenanigans. Hopefully you’ll enjoy the story below.

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Minutiae

Traffic on Granada Street was light.  An intense Florida sun warmed the car’s interior and made the steering wheel hot.  My plan was to leisurely drive home along the Tomoka River, when a young woman walking caught my attention.  She could have been me forty years ago, her long oval face and golden blonde hair looked so familiar.

Circling the block for a second look, I saw she wore a lively yellow and tangerine colored sundress exposing the right amount of skin.  Spaghetti straps tied in bows relaxed on her shoulders.  The dress was vintage hippie.

I parked, got out of the car and stood in the shade.  In the distance, she sat on a bus stop bench, her straight back and firm chin taken for granted, a slouch bag at her side, intriguing me.   I approached her directly, “Excuse me, can you tell me where Found Treasures Consignment Shop is?”  It was a ruse.  I had been there the day before to leave clothing and knew the exact location.
Looking up, she smiled and repeated my question, “Found Treasures Consignment Store?  Sure, go across the street and see that alley between the buildings?  She raised a hand wearing a mood ring and pointed. “By the Oak tree there’s like a narrow path that like…. you know what; I’ll show you.”

Closer, I saw freckles on her nose like I had.  Her platform sandals looked comfortable and practical. Her toenails painted cherry red.  She looked stylish, as I remembered myself to be.

“That isn’t really necessary.”

“Oh hush, I love that store.”

“Thanks, I’m fairly new to Florida and never sure where I’m going.”

“Me too, I’m like forever lost.  Where are you from?”

“New Jersey, I retired and moved here two years ago.

She came to Daytona for bike week and met her boyfriend.
“You know that show Jersey Shore?  You know that guy Mike, “The Situation”?  That’s who my boyfriend looks like, only he’s got bigger muscles.”  She chewed gum and blew a pink bubble announcing, “No way was I going home.  He’s like not the one, but it’s cool.”

The traffic was heavy now. We stood on the sidewalk waiting for an opportunity to cross. Standing in the hot sun, my mind wandered to the time I was her age and realized how lost she was.

A yellow corvette exceeding the speed limit created an opening in the traffic.  She looped her hand through my elbow and we rushed arm and arm across the street.

Standing on the cracked sidewalk, she turned to face me, patted my thin windblown hair in place, and asked, “Did I tell you I’m going on tour with Tony Bennett?”

Tony Bennett, the singer?  I thought her too young to know a favorite of mine.

“Yes, THE Tony Bennett! You know cause of Daytona’s Music Festival, he, well, Mr. Bennett was performing at the Peabody.”

“Ms. Witch”, my friend Michelle, that’s what we call her cause she’s nasty, we’re like playing Beach Volley Ball and there’s this fight. Witch got into it, scratching, and pulling hair, using the F word and the N word.  I got my tanning lotion and walked away.  Mr. Bennett’s daughter, Toni, saw the whole thing.  She liked me, like right away.  Said I had character or something.  Like, she just gave me a backstage pass.  I started hanging around, helping, and now we’re going on tour.  You know, he’s not Lady Ga Ga, but it’s cool.”

We arrived at the Consignment Shop and opened the door.  A tinker bell jingle announced our entrance. Women’s cast off clothing, many with designer labels packed the shop.  Displayed on the walls were glass necklaces, teardrop crystal pendants, and Swarovski pearls.  Coordinated outfits in shades of green, their potential enhanced by pink accessories, were arranged on hangers.

“I love this stuff.  Look at this.”  She wrapped a four-inch wide black plastic belt with a rhinestone buckle around her waist, shook her head, and returned it to a rack.”

“Minutiae,” I mumbled.

“What did you say?” she giggled.

“Minutiae, little stuff, the details of life.”

“Mi-nooshee-sha, I love that word! What does it mean?”

“Small, insignificant things that don’t seem to matter, then do.”

“Oh, my God! I’m trying this on.”  She exclaimed and slipped into a dressing room carrying an old dress of mine.

It was made of rich black crepe fabric.  The neckline flowed off the shoulders leaving a v shape in the back. Two panels buttoned creating a peak-a-boo above the waistline of a pencil thin skirt.  Its hem had hit the crest of my calf.

“I’m buying this.  It’s like the perfect dress!” she said emphatically outside the dressing room, twirling, as I had done, her blue-green eyes so young and true. I smiled remembering that pleasure of certainty.

“You look great in it.”

She did. I felt light-headed as a wave of emotion cascaded through me.  I had worn that dress to a friend’s wedding, a business conference, and my fortieth birthday party.  “Do you need shoes?”  I asked reminiscing about an elegant pair worn with the dress.

Tasteful, is how to describe them, the heels not too high, the straps not too tight.  I kept them. They were barely worn.

“I got black flip-flops.”

At the cash register, she counted six singles and forty-two cents turning her head with perfect range of motion to ask, “Do you have children?”

“A daughter.”

We left to say goodbye.

“It’s been cool meeting you.”  She said hugging me.

Happy my dress would be going on an adventure, but not wanting to give my secret away, I hesitated then whispered, “Don’t live your life in regret.”

I strolled toward my car, looking back.  The late afternoon sun filtered through the oak trees creating a shadow on her diminutive figure and the sun’s glare caused me doubt she had really been here, while my wedding song, “We’ve Only Just Begun,” played in my head.

…just saying

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The Alphabet Series

L is for Loquacious

The lazy lizards, lingered and forlorn

Lumbering like low lying Lilliputians.

Lewd and loquacious

Lobbying for levitation

Their legal elected official motivation, much more.

It is a mouthful.